Tumblr Codes

lesbianralzarek:

lesbianralzarek:

kink at pride is easy af to explain to kids, idk what yall are talking about. “mommy, why is that mostly-naked man wearing leather?” because lots of gay men think it looks nice. “why is that guy on a leash with a mask?” hes playing pretend. “why does she have a whip?” she thinks its fun. you know how you like to play with water guns? its like that but only for grown-ups, and she wont play with anyone who doesnt want to play with her so we’re all totally safe

if your 6yo’s next question is “is that a sex thing?”, thats fucking wild and a completely different problem. for you. not really an “Us Problem” collectively for all pride-goers, tbh. something’s going on there thats hard to call the dominatrix’s fault

homophobes think that being gay is already a weird sex thing thats hard to explain to kids. did yall forget that already? why are you trying to play respectability politics for people who will never respect you?

(via closet-keys)

if your kids old enough to ask if its a sex thing then theyre old enough to have the sexual aspects explained to them its only a problem if you believe sex should be secretive and shameful

lesbianralzarek:

lesbianralzarek:

kink at pride is easy af to explain to kids, idk what yall are talking about. “mommy, why is that mostly-naked man wearing leather?” because lots of gay men think it looks nice. “why is that guy on a leash with a mask?” hes playing pretend. “why does she have a whip?” she thinks its fun. you know how you like to play with water guns? its like that but only for grown-ups, and she wont play with anyone who doesnt want to play with her so we’re all totally safe

if your 6yo’s next question is “is that a sex thing?”, thats fucking wild and a completely different problem. for you. not really an “Us Problem” collectively for all pride-goers, tbh. something’s going on there thats hard to call the dominatrix’s fault

homophobes think that being gay is already a weird sex thing thats hard to explain to kids. did yall forget that already? why are you trying to play respectability politics for people who will never respect you?

(via closet-keys)

if your kids old enough to ask if its a sex thing then theyre old enough to have the sexual aspects explained to them its only a problem if you believe sex should be secretive and shameful

steverobin:

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I cannot tell you the complete, fundamental shift that I have felt in the year since having surgery. I knew that I wanted top surgery for a decade; it’s the longest I’ve ever thought about doing anything. The place where I went, I had that clinic’s website open on my laptop for five years. It was this impossible mountain: I want that, but I’m never gonna get it. No one’s gonna let me, blah, blah, blah. To have that be in the past now… I stand differently, I walk differently, I carry myself differently. It feels different in my body than it ever has. I have just never been happier. I’ve never been more centered. I’ve never felt more stable and present and alive. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. It’s taught me a lot. The recovery process taught me about rest, accepting help, and caring for my body as something connected to me rather than separate from me, that I’m in opposition to: This is mine and I want to take care of it. I feel good in it and good about it. Part of cis people’s fear around gender-affirming surgery is the fear of surgery at all — ‘Oh, my God, but that’s painful and scary!’ My reaction to that is, 'No, no, you misunderstood. It was painful before. Your worry has kicked in at the wrong time. The right time to be concerned was about the pain I was in before this. I’m great now.’ Everybody else’s concern for me has been on a delay. There’s no need to be concerned anymore. That’s so freeing.”

@lgbtqcreatorscreator meme: [7/8] lgbtq+ celebs LIV HEWSON

(via closet-keys)

girderednerve:

sethrogensmohel:

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[ID: Screenshot of a Queering the Map entry; the marker is along Retzif HaAliya HaShniya St. Entry reads: “During the Palestinian nakba, my grandparents were forced out of their land to Lebanon. Later on, my family immigrated to France during the Lebanese civil war. The only thing grandpa got before fleeing was the key to the house and a picture of him and grandma infront their house. He would always talk about jaffa oranges , his house and the Mediterranean sea. I grew up wanting to know how I am, where I’m originally from so in 2017 I decided to search from my grandparents original house in old Jaffa. Long story short, with the help of the Palestinians living there we found the stairs that used to lead to my grandfather’s house , we found the house. We found the lighted window which was once a kitchen window. As a queer Palestinian, the only time I felt angry and broken about seeing a pride flag was when I saw it flying on my grandparents house, on my stolen land.”]

(via closet-keys)

transloveairway:

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

(via closet-keys)

saintcircus:

gayshitanddadjokes:

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despite staff’s recent changes, we’re… winning??????

yo thats steven bradbury, winner of the short track 1000 metres at the 2002 winter olympics! yooo!! he’s the first man from THE ENTIRE SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE to win a gold medal in the winter olympics!!!

hold on, lemme tell you about steven bradbury because the man’s olympic career is WILD. not to be an annoying australian but the whole “purely out of the luck of everyone else crashing, i unexpectedly won!” thing is like 50% myth. lemme explain

so the man actually won gold in the world championships as part of the australian relay team in 1991, but when the team went to the winter olympics the next year, they dropped from third to fourth in the semi-finals and failed to make the finals. get this: the reason is, his teammate lost his footing and crashed. (bradbury was a reserve at the time)

so in the 1994 winter olympics, the australian relay team (with bradbury as an active racer) decided to take a safe and conservative approach. they prioritised staying safe on their feet and hoping other teams would crash. sure enough, the canadian team had a crash, and while they got back up again it lost them significant time and allowed australia to eke out a bronze–this bronze was also the first medal australia EVER won at the winter. in fact, australia could have gone for the silver, but richard nizielski (the same teammate who crashed at 1992) decided to cede the silver to the american he was racing against in order to avoid risking another crash. safe, steady, conservative.

bradbury didn’t just compete in the relay team at the ‘94 winter, though. he was also in the 500m and 1000m short track, and he was INCREDIBLE, but also had insanely bad luck. for the 500m, he came second in his heat and then WON his qtrfinal. he ultimately came fourth in the semi, losing his shot at the finals, after he was suffered a crash from being knocked down by another competitor, and ended up limping over the finish line. for the 1000m, he was ILLEGALLY SHOVED OVER by another competitor, dropped his position, and was elimated.

but his worst luck came at the montreal world cup of the same year when, during a collision, another competitors blade sliced through his thigh. he was in the middle of competing, his heart rate was high because of the adrenaline, blood was pumping like crazy through his body–right out his wound as a result. he lost four litres of blood. all four quadriceps had been sliced through by the blade. he almost died. he later recounted that he was fighting to stay conscious because he thought if he lost consciousness  he would definitely die (he probably would have). he ended up with ONE HUNDRED AND ELEVEN STITCHES in his leg, which he could not move afterward for three months. he ended up needing 18 months to get his leg back to full strength.

not only did the man almost DIE short tracking, he almost got a death sentence on his career at the time. his leg was almost disabled, and even though it healed, he was out of training for over a year because of the injury.

but he didnt die, and his career didnt end. bradbury kept training, and remained on the australian team. the man almost died and he still went, yeah nah, i’ve got a few good years left in me.

so bradbury comes back in the ‘98 winter olympics, both on the relay team and in the 500m and 1000m. the relay team unfortunately fails to qualify. devo. for the solos, bradbury was actually considered a real contender, he was still top of his game, but in the end he didn’t qualify for the quarterfinals. the reason for this was that his time had dropped due to collissions with other competitors. so he went home with nothing but a relay bronze. but bradbury was determined to see a short track win.

too bad fate fucking hates him apparently.

now, if you think almost dying because a skate blade sliced through your thigh and you almost bled out was bad, bradbury’s career was really threatened in 2000. during an exercise one of the other skaters fell in front of him. bradbury tried to jump, instead not only did he clip the other skater, but it caused him to lose his balance and he stacked it straight into the barrier, fracturing his vertebrae.

not only did the man spend months in a halo brace, not only did the man need to get pins skull and plates and screws bolted to his back and chest, but he was told explicitly by doctors he would never, ever be able to get back onto the ice again. that was it. he survives almost dying in the 94 world cup only to have his world crash and burn in a training exercise six years later.

anyway, fuck that, bradbury got back onto the ice. clearly. because goddamnit, he wanted that winter gold on a solo win.

look, not only did the man have a near death experience and metal bolted to his bones, but he was also aging up past the prime of an olympic athlete. he was, what some may say, not in his prime. it was a longshot. he admitted this. but he also wanted that fucking medal, and i guess everyone really liked him or felt incredibly bad for all the bad luck he’d had, so come the 2002 winter olympics, he’s on the team.

bradbury won his 1000m heat.

too bad in the qtrfinals he was racing against the gold medal pick of the host nation (ohno), and also the defending world champion (gagnon). only top two finishers could proceed to the semis.

bradbury came third. that was it. he was out. his olympic career was ov-

BUT WAIT, WHAT’S THAT! ON THE HORIZON! IS IT… A DISQUALIFICATION??? YES FOLKS, GAGNON WAS DISQUALIFIED FOR OBSTRUCTING ANOTHER RACER!! BRADBURY WAS IN!

he was in, but he still had the semis and the finals to get through. bradbury had, it was fair to say, an indomitable will, but his body was not in the same shape as his competitors. it had been through some shit. he knew he was slower than his rivals. so he took the same strategy as the australian relay team did all the way back in ‘94: conservative, steady, safe.

so here’s the thing. bradbury had a whole career, and body, full of proof that falls happen in short track. may as well call it short stack. it was a question of when, not if. people fall down, people collide, people trip, and medal chances are missed due to lost time. isn’t that what happened to him over and over again? so this is where i say that the whole “oh golly gosh who’da thunk everyone would fall down and i would just win!” thing is 50% a myth.

because that was his whole strategy.

you can’t be 100% certain the favourites are gonna fall, so of course there’s an element of chance, which is why i say only 50%, but bradbury’s plan for the semis and the finals was always to cruise along behind the other competitors, concentrate on skating safe and staying on his feet, avoiding collissions and trips, and just hoping (expecting) the other competitors to eat ice. he just wasn’t faster than his competitors, he was older, he had injuries, and he had to do (if things went well) four races in one night. it was a good strategy.

during the semis, bradbury’s “cruise behind the other races” strategy put him firmly in last place for most of the race. but then the other competitors all crashed, including a defending champion. bradbury cruised right into first place and went on to the finals. which is not the events of the picture above.

yep, that’s right. come the finals, bradbury repeats the exact same strategy. crusing behind the four other competitors, he kept a firm hold of last place and just concentrated on safety and steadiness. and then it happened. it wasn’t just a crash. it was the crash. a four-skater pile up. li (china) took the fall on the last turn of the race, just short of the finish, and triggered a chain crash that took all three other favourites down. bradbury was trailing 15m behind, putting him well clear of the collission.

bradbury hoped to get a bronze. he skated away with the first gold ever taken by an australian, by any man in the southern hemisphere, at the winter olympics.

he had over a decade of crashes and bashes. he almost died, twice. he almost had his career permanently destroyed, twice. he almost grabbed medals countless times, only to lose them to trips and shoves. he was the second oldest competitor, and the oldest of the finals. he was slower than everyone else. he was past his best. but let’s allow bradbury to say it best himself:

“Obviously I wasn’t the fastest skater. I don’t think I’ll take the medal as the minute-and-a-half of the race I actually won. I’ll take it as the last decade of the hard slog I put in.”

and what a goddamn slog. i want to say, firmly and proudly as an australian, the man didn’t win the gold at the 2002 winter olympics because he got lucky when seven competitors all tripped and fell. he won the gold at the 2002 winter olympics because he survived a ten year olympic career despite all the odds, never gave up despite the long shot, and used what he knew.

if there is a lesson in this as it relates to the original picture, it’s that while other social media platforms like twitter and reddit are jostling and shoving each other in competition to take first, tumblr has been slowly and steadily trailing behind, just focusing on keeping itself afloat, because it knows the simple truth that taking a fall is a matter of when, not if. and now everyone else is caught in a pile up and all it needs to do is keep cruising.

also, raise a glass to steven bradbury. man earned his medal.

(via bemusedlybespectacled)

gatheringbones:

[“For some of us, taking a deep breath and a moment to reframe or refocus our thoughts after an upsetting event will be enough to halt our physiological stress response. However, members of populations subject to weathering are rarely—if ever—responding to a single acute stressor. Their bodies are in constant biopsychosocial motion fulfilling their many and compelling responsibilities, which also steals their chances of having “me time.”

A 2004 ethnography of low-income mothers in Chicago (Black, white, and Latina) described the complex puzzle that many face to meet the basic daily necessities for their families. Mothers commuted up to five hours a day (and rarely less than two hours), facing severe weather conditions and patching together the meandering routes of their underfunded public transportation systems. Long wait times and limited hours of availability at public-aid offices meant missing meals in order to navigate their schedules successfully. Not only was their discretionary time scarce compared to their more affluent counterparts, but the consequences of missed obligations were dire. The investigators wrote, “Mothers who received TANF benefits [Temporary Assistance to Needy Families],” for example, “faced work requirements that often did not take into account changing circumstances. If they showed up late for work because of sudden illnesses or emergencies, they often were docked prime hours or even fired. Changing family circumstances had continuing repercussions because public benefits could be cut or terminated when employment was lost.”

All in all, these strangling time constraints meant drastically reduced sleep, less family time, and less time to unwind from the day—the cruel irony being that more-structured stress meant less time to decompress. Two-thirds of the study sample led such “highly challenging” lives. One participant averred she “could never get a break.” Another observed, “With working, the kids, and cleaning, […] you just ‘do’ until you can just sit in a chair and nod off.”

Another study of low-income mothers (Black, white, and Latina), using data from the same ambitious three-cities ethnography, exemplifies the kind of extraordinary stresses and choices faced in the communities most subjected to weathering. Francine, a thirty-year-old mother of three, had no time to attend to her own stomach cancer diagnosis because she had to attend to her asthmatic son, as well as her mother who recently suffered a stroke and heart attack at the age of fifty. Lourdes, a thirty-four-year-old mother with diabetes and glaucoma, was expected to comply with welfare work requirements because her doctor insisted she could still work despite partial paralysis and blindness. As noted, 80 percent of mothers studied suffered from chronic conditions (83 percent of whom were thirty-nine or younger) yet could not afford regular doctor’s visits, owing to either lack of income or “more immediate concerns,” such as the need to attend to their child’s health problems or their need to hold on to jobs that did not give them personal time off. It is hard to imagine a “more immediate concern” than an early-onset cancer diagnosis. That addressing it might not be an immediate priority reflects the constant juggling required in high-effort coping.”]

arline t. geronimus, from weathering: the extraordinary stress of ordinary life in an unjust society, 2023

closet-keys:

“you can totally just choose another name, people do it all the time”

“yeah try out any pronouns! doesn’t matter if you’re cis, you can be called what you like!”

“oh damn, I love that hairstyle/haircut/outfit”

“yeah, why not play around with drag or costumes, it’s fun. let me know if you need help finding good quality bras/breastforms/binders/packers”

“you can totally go on hormones if you want, like technically we’re all already producing hormones in our bodies, so if you wanna try out different hormone ratios you could talk to an endocrinologist about it”

“even if you’re cis you can get top surgery if it makes you feel good, there’s no rules about who is ‘allowed’ to have larger or smaller chests.”

“it’s totally cool if you don’t think you’re cis but you’re not ready to use the term trans. use whatever labels you want or none, it’s chill”

“you don’t need to pick apart all your memories to justify what you want your life to be, it’s enough to just want what you want for your own life”

“thank you for trusting me with that, I’ll support you no matter what”

“who do you want me to use that name/those pronouns around?”

“hell yeah, so proud of you for realizing that about yourself”

we sometimes joke about how cis people entering a trans friend group often “become” trans, but on a serious note, just having a social context where, when you do stuff for yourself that feels good, you are met with reaffirmed friendship & confidence boosts, that’s inherently going to help you become more comfortable identifying as trans if you are trans. and another great thing is it also helps people realize they can be as gender nonconforming as they want & still be cis if that’s what feels right too.

it’s win/win to have friends who are cool about gender– everyone is better off when we can make decisions about our own bodies without fear of social ostracism.

consistent acceptance (& encouragement) of radical gender nonconformity is always going to make our relationships with each other safer and more fulfilling.

to be affirmed by friends in any context is wonderful, but to be affirmed by friends in a context where you are feeling vulnerable & still learning about yourself and yet you still consistently feel genuinely understood and believed about yourself by those friends is profound.